10 Tips for Keeping Safe on Hookup Apps
04 Sep 2024
Gay and bi+ men in Melbourne and Canberra have been targeted by a series of violent attacks when using online dating and hookup apps like Grindr. Several groups and individuals have been posing as legitimate users on the platforms to lure men into meeting up.
We know that our community coming forward to report violence has resulted in at least one arrest so far.
Whilst Grindr can be a valuable resource for finding sex and community connection, users must also remain wary of their safety when meeting partners. We’re breaking down our top tips for keeping safe and how to report suspicious behaviour, including how to speak to an LGBTIQ+ Liaison Officer (LLO) at the police.
1. Keep it on the Hookup App
Some perpetrators of violence will ask to take the conversation off Grindr to another platform like Snapchat. Some photo-sharing and messaging apps have location-sharing data that may identify where you are posting from (like Snapchats ‘SnapMap’). If you are communicating via another app, find out how to disable your location sharing.
Keep your chat on the app so that when you report a user, Grindr can automatically upload copies of your messages.
2. Where to Meet Up
When meeting someone for the first time, you can minimise your risk by meeting in a public place like a bar, restaurant, or sex-on-premises venue.
If you are meeting up at their place or your place, use your gut. Check them out on a doorbell camera, ask to meet them outside their place before entering, or note a licence plate number if they drive to yours.
When meeting up in an isolated outdoor area, note where the nearest road or footpath is, how to leave quickly, and what venues are open nearby. If things turn dangerous, knowing these details can help you respond quickly.
Some people don’t feel comfortable meeting in a public place or like to keep it anonymous, but be cautious if someone asks you to meet in an “out of the way” or isolated spot.
3. Uploading Secure Photos
Review your photo album, including your public and private pictures to see what details you might accidentally be sharing. Check if any images have details about your home, workplace, or street signs in the background. Details like these make it easier for people to find you off the app.
4. Linking to Social Media
Be cautious about linking your Grindr profile to other social media accounts. What's on your Instagram or X account? Are there pictures of you and your mates hanging around at your place? Think about making these accounts private or consider removing them from your Grindr profile.
Users who ask for your logins or passwords for any online accounts should be treated with suspicion and reported or blocked. Be wary of malicious accounts or bots who may share links taking you to dangerous sites.
5. Use 'Find My'
When hooking up with someone, you can share your location with a trusted friend so they know where you are. Some apps also allow you to share your live location with trusted contacts for added security during meet ups. Alternatively, let someone know where you're going and you'll text them when you return.
6. Check They're Real
Beware of catfish! Before agreeing to meet someone in person, verify their identity. Video or voice call them to ensure the person you’re speaking to matches their profile pictures. This step can help you avoid catfish or malicious individuals posing as someone else.
If you’d like to put on your detective hat to investigate your match and avoid a potentially awkward call, you can read more on how to suss out a catfish here.
Alternatively, you can ask them to send a silly pic with two thumbs up – and that you'll do the same – that way, you can both be sure the other isn't a catfish.
Do you live with someone or have friends on the apps in the same area? Check to see if they've hooked up with the person before.
7. Stay Updated on Online Dating Scams
Keep informed about the scams and threats targeting Grindr users. Some common Grindr scams involve the scammer asking you to prove your love or loyalty by transferring money to them.
You should also watch out for phishing attempts, blackmail, and fake or suspicious profiles. Regularly check Grindr’s safety blog for updates.
Avoid sharing personal information such as your full name, workplace or address in your profile. Keep your profile simple.
8. Learn Grindr's Safety Features
Use the app’s block and report functions if you encounter harassment, threats, or any inappropriate behaviour. Some apps allow you to take screenshots of your chat with a user. This may also be useful when speaking to police.
9. Report It
In an emergency, you should always call 000. Our communities have had complicated relationships with the police, and you may be worried about contacting the local police. You can call your local station and ask to speak to an LGBTIQ+ Liaison Officer (LLO). LLOs provide specialised response to LGBTIQ+ people, and understand about gay hookup culture.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of a hate crime, violence or the threat of violence, report the incident to the authorities and seek support from local LGBTIQ+ organisations. If you need police assistance and the matter is not urgent, call 131 444 or make a report online at Police Assistance Line Online Reporting. Not everyone in our community feels safe to report acts of violence to the police and you can anonymously report at safety@thorneharbour.org.
10. Get Support
Experiencing assault, threatening behaviour or homophobic violence can impact our mental health. Thorne Harbour Health also offers a range of services, including counselling and support groups. If you’ve been a victim of any online or in-person crime, it might help to speak to someone about how it’s affecting you. Call our friendly intake team on (03) 9865 6700 to find a service.